Howdy folks...I've got some things racking around in this ole brain of mine....not new things..old things...things that have been there for well, quite some time. First off Im a total honesty junkie, which in turn gives me the great and growing experience of learning to curve my tongue and soften my deliveries..this friends is quite the work IN progress:)...anyhow I'v been thinking (as I try to run around my house and clean in the most effecient way possible, as to gaurentee my Monday morning does'nt start off as an absolute trainwreck.....people, I CAN'T function in a dirty or even messy house)...........that so many things unnerve me...at the present and on top of the list today is this....when Christians talk to you and they are in a battle and they fill the air with almost frantic robotic gushes of postive speech..and memorized scripture, and "I just know the Lord's gonna", and "I know everythings gonna be ok's"......and blah blah blah!....let me quickliy clarify that I dont believe any of these behaviors or "confessions" are wrong in and of themselves..trust me I've been there a million times...I also understand that God's Word is a seed and it will produce fruit, and the power of the tongue and ALL those good things!....so this is not coming from a bitter place...it's just that when I'm in this situation I often times want to look at the person and say...No, you dont believe that...and who exactly are you trying to convince me, god, or you?...Really it makes me sad, all because of this.........
When Yeshua (Jesus) walked the earth, living amongst mankind he said alot of things....the difference was he BELIEVED them, wholehearted. I personally dont believe He went around saying things to convince Himself, he knew the Truth..but rather to convince us. My point is this, God is relational. He understands our weakness, He understands our frame. People, I'm convinced that when we are in a battle and some of the darkest times of our lives....God's pleasure does not lay in our ability to recite scriptures or make a million positive confessions a day.....but in our fear, our doubt and in our uncertainty that we draw our heart close to His and letting our guards down say "help me believe"....There is a freedom in this, being released from the pressure and unspoken belief that if you dont "prove" your "faith" that God's not gonna come through for you. God loves us guys,even in our doubt. His love and purposes dont waiver based upon our confessions or weakness. I've been taking some risks now, for years. I tell God exactly how I feel, He does'nt necessarily always validate my emotions, but that not what I need...I just wanna know I'm loved enough to be loved through them, and guess what..I'm starting to. Believe that is.
I wanna be real, touchable, approachable, I think God does too. So when people, believers or not, ask me how I am, I'm honest..and it's not always pretty..but thats ok...Im not here to be pretty or perfect. I'm here to be ALIVE. I used to be so scared to be honest with people, especially non-believers, I believed that I would be misrepresenting God and all his goodness, and in turn He wouldn'nt be very happy with me. I don't believe that anymore. Everything and everyone is redeemable, and truthfully just the fact that I feel like I know God a little more today than I did yesterday...is more redeeming in my eyes than my life always being filled with sunshine and lollipops (although, I would like a unicorn):)..or all the right words.
So in conclusion, I'm not saying to abandon "spirituality" or anything of the sort. What I am saying is this...let what you have be real..let is be honest, let it be relational....even in the wake of seeming unspiritual. I promise you, people are desperate...empty and lonely...they want something they can taste, even if its not all sweet...after all guys,salty and sweet are way better together:)....I know He wills that all see and hear and walk and that His Kingdom be here on this earth now, we'll get there folks.....one relationship at a time...I'm sure that when we are in heaven we will rejoice and be so happy at the fact that all wounds, physical and emotional and mental and spiritual are healed......but more so than that, that we know once and for all.......not in part, but wholly and purely, the beauty of His heart. Take Risks in your Romance and let your Realities be Redeemed...LOVE.
Pretty glad you included sunshine, lollipops and unicorns in the midst of all the other goodness...love you.
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